fall miscellany

today's rain video:

seasonal depression has been creeping in. for personal reasons i am boycotting the month of october.

it's ok enough. i stopped doing morning pages and have been learning gothic calligraphy. my friend wanted to hang an ornate "peepeepoopoo" piece on his wall so i have a funny little project to do. i'm almost all the way through the alphabet.

i stopped posting on instagram last september when i got covid. i'm not sure if i want to go back. these days i check a few friends' stories then close the app. i do use it as a point of contact when i meet people in real life, gathering bands and events, but i'm considering just giving out my phone number when i meet people i want to genuinely know better. i do desire acquaintances and soft connections, but i'm not sure how to gather those when the main avenue for maintaining them requires me to post things in order to be remembered. is that just the price to cultivate loose ties? i don't know. since my friend group was radically reshuffled over the past several months i feel kind of lost, socially.

how much connection do i actually want, and with whom? how do you nurture a sense of community that feels comfortable and not performative?

i am going to make a cup of tea and look for cats on craigslist